Chapter 1

"Happiness is only a dream, but grief is real." VoltaireShe lay on the ground With hereyes aiming straight at the sky So she was never kind to her The whole world boiling on fire Acold shadow in silence Spreading her arms, arching her body Embracing the vast world without boldly She lay on the groundRussian Size That girl was me - Katya Sokolova. My brother affectionately called me Kitten. He said that I was just as small, cute and fluffy, and also purred when I needed something from him.I loved my older brother very much. So different on the outside, we were very close on the inside. I was an exact copy of our mother - not tall, thin, with long brown hair and gray-blue eyes, a small slightly upturned nose and full lips. Even though I was still a child, it was obvious that I would be petite.Andrey, in contrast to me, had blond hair, like our dad, and his facial features were as regular as if an artist painted him. Already in adolescence, the brother was tall and strong. I think you could even say that he was handsome. But what I really liked about him was the eyes. They were a deep green, such an unusual shade that they seemed unnatural. Two huge malachites stood out brightly on his regular face. It was impossible not to notice them, they burned so brightly that if he entered a room full of darkness, she would be illuminated by the mere glow of his eyes. Between us there was a difference of as much as eleven years, but it seemed that there was no stronger friendship and devotion than the one that was between us. I always worried and cried when my dad yelled at him for any of my misconduct. My father said that Andrey's duty was to look after me and protect me from everything. And if I played pranks, then Andrey was to blame, if I hit, then my brother also got it. I loved dad, but even then, being a four-year-old girl, I understood that he was not fair to him.I could not understand why the same person treats his children so differently. My dad just adored me. He was always affectionate with me, I never heard a single rude word from him, while Andrei got hit by the ears literally for any reason. Fortunately, our mother never made a distinction between us. Both of us have always been her favorite children. She, like me, got upset and cried when her father yelled at Andrei or beat him. But in our family, dad was the main one, his authority put pressure on everyone, including mom.I remember how I broke a vase when I climbed into the kitchen cupboard for sweets, and dad beat Andrey with a belt for this, and then made him collect the shards and mop the floor. But my brother never blamed me for this attitude towards him. He loved and cared for me always. Not once have I heard from him words of condemnation or a sidelong glance, after another catching up from my father.- You hate me? - I asked him when, on his knees, he was collecting fragments from that ill-fated vase.- What? Not! Where did you even get this from? Andrew looked at me in surprise.Because it's all my fault. I broke this vase! And in general, my dad did not allow me to touch sweets before dinner, but I did not obey. And now, look what happened - from resentment, I began to cry, sinking next to Andrei and wrapping my arms around my knees. - Kitten, don't! - with bitterness in his voice said brother. He threw the fragments back on the floor and, holding me tightly to him, began to stroke my head. “I'm not mad at you at all, honestly. he assured me.- Truth? I squeaked in response.- Certainly. I do love you, baby. brother said kindly. Then he patted me on the head and added - Is it possible to be seriously offended by kittens?And we laughed. I knew Andrew was telling the truth. And even despite the really warm relationship with my father, I was really close only with my brother. I didn't even think about how it could be otherwise. But one ill-fated evening ruined my whole life. I still remember that day with a shudder. ***It was Andrew's birthday. He was seventeen years old. Mom spent the entire first half of the day cooking. I was pleased that this day was dedicated to my brother. I was selflessly glad that today everything would be only for him, there were too few days in his life when he was really happy. But today everything had to be perfect. I remember that at that time I was fond of sewing soft toys and, as a gift for Andrei, I sewed a soft white kitten for him.- This is for you. Happy Birthday! - I stood happy near his bed and held out his gift to my brother.He just woke up and I caught him by surprise.- Kitten, did you sew it yourself? For me? - I don’t understand why, but Andryusha was very surprised.- Well, yes ... - I mumbled shyly. - Do not you like it?- What are you doing! This is the best present, Katyushka. Andrey beamed. - This kitten reminds me of you - he smiled slyly.My brother grabbed me in an armful and tightly squeezed in his arms. I grumbled and fought back, but really I was just happy. I loved when he hugged me like that and cherished these moments of our intimacy with him. I needed him like I needed air. And, if we were not together for a long time, I felt physical and mental discomfort. I was dependent on him, but I was too young to clearly realize it.- So, what are your plans for today? I asked when he finally released his embrace.- I do not even know. I want to spend this day with you. Andrew shrugged. For a seventeen-year-old boy, he was surprisingly homely. To parties and friends, he always preferred evenings with his family, evenings with me.We sat at the table. Mom cooked all of Andrey's favorite dishes. All was good. My brother was happy and I was happy with him.A couple of hours later, we were full of food, watching TV, when Andrei's phone rang.- This is Pasha - explained the brother. - Calls for a walk.“Go ahead,” Mom said. - Today is your holiday. Your friends will probably want to congratulate you too. “Well, I don’t even know,” he hesitated. I wanted to spend the evening with you...- Let's go together! I jumped to my feet. To be honest, I was terribly bored sitting at home all day. Andrei was calm and homely, but I was a restless little fidget. - Daddy, please let me go with Andryusha! I said.- You answer for your sister with your head. - sharply answered the father, making it clear that we received his permission. Andrew just nodded briefly.I happily ran around the house, and my mother helped me get dressed.Half an hour later we met with Andrey's friends in the park across the street from our house. - Hold it, buddy - Pasha handed Andrey a bottle of beer.- Have you gone crazy? - Andrey was indignant - I came here with my younger sister, if you haven't noticed yet.“Come on, nun,” Kostyan teased him. - it's just one bottle, you won't get anything from it.My brother looked at me uncertainly, but seeing no signs of disapproval on my face, he took the bottle and took a sip.So we sat on the bench. My brother and his friends slowly sipped beer and chatted about something of their own, and I, who did not understand the essence of the conversations of three adult guys, just ran around the park.“Kitten, don’t run far away,” my brother warned me, “so that I can see you.”- Don't worry, Andryusha! Here I am, here. I answered breathlessly.Suddenly, a yard dog caught my attention. I've seen her before, but my mother never let me pet her. But now my mother was not around. I looked uncertainly at Andrei, he was talking enthusiastically about something with his friends, actively gesticulating. I began to approach the dog, hoping that she would let me pet her. But the dog was clearly not tamed. She cautiously moved away from me. A minute later I was running around the park cheerfully, and the poor dog was running away from me in fear. At some point, the dog jumped across the road, hoping to get rid of me. But I was so excited and carried away by what was happening that I rushed after her without hesitation. I was brought back to reality by the sharp signal of the car and the headlights. The last thing I saw was the startled look of the driver as he slammed on the brakes in a panic. Then I felt a sharp jolt of cold metal and collapsed to the ground.