Chapter 1

I want to go crazy againSunny morning, a light breeze came through the open window and made the mint-colored curtains dance to the rhythm of the waltz. He woke up, stretched on the wide bed and sat on its edge. Today was wonderful weather, I didn’t feel like going to the couples at all. Deep in his soul, he dreamed of going for a walk and returning home in the evening to breathe in the fresh spring air, warm the skin with the sun's rays, collect a couple of bouquets and leave them by the road, where accidents happen every day. He chuckled and got out of bed. These bright thoughts eclipsed the clouds of doubt. In fact, everything will be different. He will pack his things, have breakfast, go to school and sit diligently all four couples. No game on the phone will save him from boredom, but he will try with all his might to delve into the material that the teachers give him."Good morning," Dino woke up.Dino is the name of a voice that has been sounding in his head for a long time. He appeared in first grade. At first, the boy thought that everyone has their own “friend-voice” that sounds in their head. Later, he realized that it was a disease. Psychology lessons proved to the guy that this is more than abnormal and that he belongs in a psychiatric hospital.Good morning, - having said sleepily, he got dressed and went on according to the above plan. Breakfast, prepared by the mother, once again turned out to be vile in taste. But he will never tell her this, because the mother herself is not herself. No matter how ridiculous it may sound, but sometimes she has bouts of anger, panic, paranoia. Sudden gusts happen often, but subside very quickly, so he does not attach too much importance to it. Until things got out of control.Tell me what happened?In front of him sat a man in a handsome gray suit, although the clothes were tattered and worn, but very much suited to the cold gray look of the stranger. On the white shirt was a red tie - a great contrast to the whole picture in gray tones.I've gone mad. I just couldn't take it. This world and everything living in it just infuriates me. I endured for a long time, kept everything in myself, but at some point something broke inside, and anger came out.The man looked at him carefully. He wore a white coat over a gray suit. The badge on the chest said: “Pirel V.I. Psychiatrist". He imposingly took a pen and noted something in his papers.Do you understand that you will no longer go out in public?“Why would I go out to a place where everything pisses me off?” Does this make any sense?When did you fail to contain your anger? He rested his head on his hands, ready to listen to a long story.I remember that day very well. It was a sunny morning, I woke up and looked out the window. I wanted to go for a walk until the evening, but then common sense forced me to go to school. And then I heard Dino.Dino? Who is it?A voice in my head. I gave him a name. He resisted for a long time, but then soon gave up and accepted it.Do you hear it often?Yes, he calms me down. Each time he counts to ten, and then he starts to translate the topic to distract me from the stressful situation.Are you talking to him?Of course, I'm talking to him. He is, in fact, my only friend and person who does not annoy me. I have a very explosive temper, so it's hard for me to restrain myself. Sometimes I like to imagine his appearance when he talks to me. In my imagination, this is a twenty-three-year-old guy with dark hair covering the edges of his ears, the back of his head and forehead, slightly blocking his bright blue eyes. I would even say blue, not blue.Have you ever seen this person?Maybe I saw him. I don't remember.It turns out that you gave him a name, appearance and character?Yes.Have you always heard it?No, he appeared around the time I went to school.You did not go to the doctor? To a psychiatrist? – he skeptically raised an eyebrow and smirked, – No, I thought it was normal. That all kids have their own voice.- Do you hear him now?No, I can't hear now. He was upset that I didn't listen to him one last time. After that, I didn't hear from him.- What happened at that time?- I was furious, he, as always, tried to calm me down, but I broke loose and yelled at him.- You shouted at your deliberate interlocutor?- Yes, it happened. He was wrong. I keep calling him back and sorry, but Dino doesn't come back.- Do you want to return it? Voice in your head?- Yes, I'll give everything to get Dino back. Will you return it, doctor?The man looked at him in surprise. Bags under the eyes, tired, empty eyes, hair was in complete disarray. Long dark strands lay on her forehead and would have exactly closed her eyes, red from insomnia, if not for the cut off shreds that remained from the bangs. The nurses cut it off so that the patient's eyes could be seen. Lots of scars on his arms, too old a face for a twenty-five-year-old guy sitting in a straitjacket with his hands behind his back.- Can't you live without it?- No, will you help me?The doctor opened the folder and looked at the nurse's neat handwriting: "Apathetic, insomniac, aggressive, doesn't make eye contact, doesn't talk to strangers, suicidal." The map data did not correspond to reality. The man did not understand why the guy in front of him was talkative and made any kind of contact.- I don't know. Come on, you tell me in great detail what happened and we will do everything to return it, - he put down the folder with papers, a pen, and leaned back in his chair.